We recently bought a house and with the help of an army of saints moved all our belongings into a new to us residence. We had fun placing our things around the house, discovering the details of how this house operates and shaping the home to fit the flow of our life. Four weeks into living life in our new house, we began seeing a few flies in the kitchen. We thought that the temperature in Houston had increased dramatically and the heat of summer might be drawing a few “fly friends” into the house. The next day. . . The very next day, we woke up to hundreds of flies lining all the downstairs windows. What was cute and harmless one day grew to a plague to be feared the next day
I posted this picture of Chad and I on a Friday night heading out to purchase new flyswatters to fight off our “fly enemies.”
I began to reflect on how a few flies grew to an entire army overnight. During the week of the plague of flies, I was in a real low spot. One thought began to pop in my head and I followed this negative thought until I was overwhelmed with self-loathing and anger at God for creating me. How did one thought lead me to the pit of despair 😩?
The flies spoke to me in a powerful way.
I can choose to follow the one negative thought until seemingly overnight I am overwhelmed with a plague of thoughts OR I can choose to acknowledge the thought trace it back to the root, speak the truth over myself and continue to let the negative thought go without attaching to it and following it down to the pit.
In the Christian scriptures, Paul called this taking our thoughts captive. His militaristic language does not suite me today, but it speaks to the need to watch our thoughts carefully.
I know that I am set free from the plague. I know that I am fully loved and created in the image of God. This is my truth that I have claimed. So, I began to change my mantra to “I love you, Amber.” I did not mean this as an affirmation of God’s love for me. I needed to hear that I loved myself. I have taken action in the past few years to show myself that I love and care for myself, but I had never communicated this change of heart in words.
For me, this is a very uncomfortably intimate mantra. Maybe this means I desperately need these words.
BTW . . . The flies magically went away. We found the carcasses all over the floor and on the window seals. We don’t know how they got in or why they left, but today we had the windows guy come out and the pest control come out and spray just in case they decide to return. Now, I am at the store buying white onions to cut in half and place in each room to soak up the toxins of the pest spray. Hey, I do what I have to do.
I wonder what practices you use to help you navigate your thought life.
Amber Mattingly 